Iron Mike

y'all know that ain't my car.

I call it my 'Chillen Chilli'

I WUZ JUS MAKIN HOOJ POT OV CHILLI 4 MAH FRENZ BRITTANY, EMMA AN PIPR. IT HAS CORM, 2 DIFFERENT KINDZ OV BEANZ, CARROTS, VARIETY OV PEPPERS, TOMATOS, ONIONS, ANGUS BEEF, SMOKD POBLANO CHILI POWDR, CUMIN AN AGD CHEDDAR CHEEZ. I WENT 2 SLEEP LASTNITE AN TEH POT WUZ STILL SIMMERIN. I WOKE UP COUPLE OV HOURS LATR 2 HOUZ DAT SMELLD LIEK TEX-MEX MECCA AN I WUZ LIEK GURL, OH MAH LORD, I NEEDZ 2 GIT DIS POT OV TEH BURNERNS BUT INSTEAD I JUS WENT BAK 2 SLEEP. IT ENDD UP NOT BEAN DAT BAD AFTR ALL CUZ TEH EXTRA COUPLE OV HOURS DAT TEH POT OV CHILLI SIMMERD ON TEH STOOV JUS LET THEM FLAVORS MARRY 2 PERFECSHUN. PIPR AN EMMA WUZ SLEEPIN IN MAH ROOM LASTNITE AN I WUZ GETTIN REAL ANNOYD CUZ EMMA KEPT DIGGIN HER NAILS INTO MAH SOFA AN I WUZ REAL WORRID IN MAH HALF-ASLEEP STATE DAT SHE WUZ GOIN 2 MOOV 1 FOOT OVAR FRUM HER ORIGINAL LOCASHUN 2 MAH CAREFULLY LAID OUT NUDIE JEANZ FRUM SWEDEN AN START F&^%ING DOSE SHITS, I WUZ LIEK GURL, LORD CUZ WUT DO U DO IN SITUASHUN LIEK DAT? DO U SAY BRITTANY, UR KAT RUIND MAH 3 HUNDRD DOLLAR JEANZ, CAN U HOLLR AT SUM NEW ONEZ? YA RITE! GURL BE TAKIN MAH TWENTIEZ BAK WIF TEH QUICKNES. LORD. ANYWAYS U GUYZ LET ME GO AN CALL THEES PEEPS AT WERK. HAS ME FEELIN SUM KIND OV WAI, LORD.

Do I look like hern?

FAMILIAL/maternal instinct flare up/OH GOD!

Mom?

Mommy, circa 1971?

MA!?

Child Prooff? check. Piper Prooff? check. Meow (zedong) Prooff? questionable.

The best? Yes Ma'am! Let me recover this chair real quick.

E G G B L O C K

me: lord i have this appointment with dyanna tomorrow. i dont need my shit dyed yet. imma call and reschedule
Ronald: girl yo hair is so wonderful. hey girl also ima go to target tongiht if u trying to roll 11:18 AM
me: my roots aint botherin nobody yet
Ronald: ima get my some luxury lotions and some serious hand creme. yeah you should have rescheduled a while ago though, that shit be pissing people off

These are things that I need this winter: Work pants, TF duh!, motorbike TRU2?

HIZ HURR

NUFF SAID